wow... another year has just passed since i rmb what happened last year. one year ago i was also sitting at this computer, talking to....yeah. planning to meet up in mbs tmr.. jus a moment, one year had passed since i last saw him... suddenly, i jus feel very sad.. and scared.. to see the fourth florr classroom.. but i know this time i hav to return there and let go of everything. one year and it stil clinged onto me. sumtimes its jus difficult to let go and forget totally... is this wad is meant by true love? i dont know.. im jus confused.. what to do next?

HAHAHAHAHAHA... i've been bia-ing for my test this week.. haha. not bad ba? first time leh? lol. opps.. i think i like tt say very bu yao lian.. ok.. fine.. nvm.. tmr physics and emaths test.. on light and kinemaics.. wa sian... both are like physics la.. nvm.. today so sway... hand phone kena confiscated sia.. by miss ng lorr.. walao.. and its not even my bloody fault la.. is my friend use in class then got confiscated... now hav to use dunno wad old nokia phone.. which is like- what the hell... seriously i wanna cry.. i miss my hp lorr.. i cant get around wif my own hp.. somemr confiscate for 2wks aft holidays leh.. then my bday how????!!!!!!! MY BDAY NO V3 TO USE... tho hav old phone but i dun like it.. i not comfy wif this fone.. haix... i wan my phone back!!!!!!!!!!!!! nvm.. i go plead for my fone back.. or i wanna die liao..

>>>>>missing my fone... aww....

i love you.. samara

*groan* oh man.. im like so sick at this moment.. flu, sore throat, fever and i feel so weak.. haix. and worse, nobody's there for me.. wth.. forget it.. nvm.. i wanna die....... oh.. its horrible.. sigh
i don think im going to sch on monday.. thanks alot from u... haha.. THANKS!!

im very tired.. very tired. pls dont come trouble me wif relationship problems k? and i seriously dont want another pri sch friend or whatever crap coming to tell me about crush on me.. cos i will immediately jump down from my house.. this is dumb.. arrrgh.. nvm.. hmm. y am i so emotional these few days? i kept crying at night thinking of stuff and i dunno wad to do now. whom do i want exactly? tell me what i should do now?leave this place? leave all my troubles and memories here forever and nv coming back to take it back? im lost.. come and guide me outta this darkness.. its eating up my soul and energy and i know someday i'll lose control. my er jie also so depressed.. me also.. haix.. lets go out nxt tues ba.. then tell me whom i should follow?

i love you rw? i dont know what now. forget it..

haha.. yay.. i cant wait for teachers day to come.. can go bac to mbs.. haha.. and reach to 4th floor and reminices our past.. hmm

im sorry i let u down, now i wont anyore..

hmm. looking out the window, all i see is darkness. sigh.. whenever night comes, i'll feel so damn depressed. and i hate it. haiz.. wa.. seriously, i cant stand without a stead. im gonna rot soon. so lonely. and hollow insede me.. haix.. sigh...............nvm. if there's fate then we'll be together. yup. god.. save me.. two weeks before my next guitar lessson. wth.. im dying alrdy. oh man. haix.. haix.. haix.. relieve me from lonliness?????

hmm.. what can i say? it jus feels good to be single.. serious!! haha.. such freedom to express ur love for some1 else and no restrictions.. woohoo.. but there r times really lonely and wanting a shoulder to lean on and tell them how u feel. hmm. now no one listens to me.. umm.. nvm.. no we so engaged into the tk thingy.. lol. sotong so cute.. haha.. dun insult k.. lol. i dunno how to say or reply. nvm.. if its time, fate will come, but if its not time yet, no use forcing right?

ps.. hum hum.. stop telling me shuai ge cos im allegic.. and i know.. n sucks k? @#$% i know...

wa.. i fell down today. lol. was running to the water cooler playing wif my friends then there very wet and i slipped and fell!! omg.. lol. the worst is my kneecap banged into the metal cooler.. wah.. pain.. now abit bleed and big blue-black there.. awwwwwwwww... ouch.. and it was like so malu.. lol. nvm.. but i think its so funny. haha. hmm.. i dunno. tmr fri!!! have charm at 830 @ channel5 and ghost whisperer 10 @ channel 5 too. haha. yay!! got lost today also.. on 43 then i first time take to serangoon stadium there.. dunno how alight.. but thx to alvin he brought me there.. still called and ask me im ok not. haha. do i look like im lost in s'pore???!!! omg.. haha. but thanks anyway.. :)

i lurrve u w>>>>>>

im letting go of everything.. my studies, love life and whatever there is for me to let go of.. im tired, constantly breaking down tt i cant do this anymore. i don wanna do this anymore. it really irritates me and i just feel like killing myself. pls spare me from hurt and depression. i've been thru it and i dont wanna return to hell again. let me go pls. i beg for amnesia i beg for anesthesia, forget the past and numb the pain, if this dont stop i'll go insane. yeah. *tears* pls dont tear me apart anymore. release me.. im sorry, pls forgive me..

what is this?? i hate the Os... i one wrong for listening compre liao lorr. walao. lol.and wads wrong with ah kay ah? keep saying " wo jin tian xia wu yao qu WEI DUO LI YA ZONG XUE jian kao" wad crap la? how many times he hav to say? walao.. i cannot tahan him man.. i slept in his lesson today. first time sia.. he use the txtbk knock my table leh.. wa.. miracle.. FIRST TIME LEh!!!!!! lol. sry.. am i being hysterical? lol. so pai seh. haha. er.. ppl pls dun ask me for my listening compre ans k? i put in my blog..

1) B
2)C
3)A
4)D
5)B
6)A
7)D
8)C
9)C (this one alot ppl put A) dunno.
10)D

walao.. whats the crappy life in school la.. duh.. c'on lorr. who gives a damn on studies? exception for nerds sia..but no offense la.. vann so cute today.. got very very high marks for her amaths circular measure.. lol. i got 3/15.. haha.. not one ans correct de lorr. lol. is pity marks.. or tts wad the teacher told me.. lol. i dun care la. whatever lar.. fail badly fail lorr. so? i nv fail b4 meh? lol. FINE.. tmr my damn chi oral.. oh bloody shit.. i dont even know how to speak chi.. omg... how to go for oral. lol. nvm.. speaking eng at lest got sum marks. haha.. sorry la... dunno how speak.. i'm like so ashamed i come from mbs.. lol. so pai seh.. my chi used to be A* but now.,.haha.. so pai seh liao.. haha..

tired as i am, just leave me alone

amaths test today, im still not feeling right up to standard.. my health is deteriorate everyday and my totally weak.. sigh.. im like suffering with terminal illness.. haix.. my mind is in turmoil, my heart collasping.. i need someone to help me outta here.. im falling, too deep that i cant figure out who i really am anymore.. but i dont wanna depend on pple anymore.. i hav to depend on myself.. i hav to pave my own road.. give me hope, once again.. nobody can help me this time.. if i cant do it, im giving up.. my life, my future, my own family.. im sorry.. i've let everyone down who loves me.. im sorry.. right here, i apologise for that and im sure your hope lies on other ppl, not me.. im hopeless..

HOLLAND V.S ARGENTINA 3am.. gonna watch le..

WESTLIFE LYRICS
"My Love"
An empty street, an empty house
I hole inside my heart
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.(oh yeah)
And all my love, I'm holding on forever
Reaching for the love that seems soo far
[Chorus:]So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again... my love.
I try to read, I go to work
I'm laughing with my friends
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking. (oh no)
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.(oh yeah)
And all my love, I'm holding on forever
Reaching for the love that seems so far
So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again...
To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from the heart
You're all I'm thinking of
Reaching for the love that seems so far
So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again... my love.
Say it in a prayer (my sweet love)
Dreams will take it there
Where the skies are blue (woah yeah), to see you once again my love. (oh my love)
All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again.... My Love.

hmm....hmm... wa.. holidays gonna be over.. whoa.. hav to see those teachers again.. and comment on how lousy i am in their class.. blah blah blah.. im like WADEVER!!! hmm.. my guitar skills not bad le.. haha.. this sat teacher gonna teach my love- westlife.. the song very nice wor.. lol. can play for my beloved liao.. yay.. lol. but need loads of practice first.. wa.. my fingers numb le.. press the folk steel guitar strings press until my fingers pain.. esp the F so diff play.. umm.. can time pass faster.. come back from obs faster ma.. missing you alot.. im dying.. plus school reopening..then can see u.. wa.. so sian..

OMG!!! Argentina vs Serbia and Montenegro 6-0 wow!!! go argentina.. did well this time.. but actually is also cos Serbis and Montenegro hav internal disputes.. thats why cant really unleash their potential in this match.. but im still glad tt argentina won.

Goals:
18. RODRIGUEZ Maxi (6')
5. CAMBIASSO Esteban (31')
18. RODRIGUEZ Maxi (41')
9. CRESPO Hernan (78')
11. TEVEZ Carlos (84')
19. MESSI Lionel (88')

hmm.. messi's a good player.. quite a good striker.. but i dont think crespo is good. he's ok but maybe he's lacgging in this game? he offside in this game wor.. or it would be 7-0. yup. done very well this time. there's a good passer in this game also.. hmm.. Sorin juan.. argentina can do better, might be able to surpass brazil.. yeah.. hav faith in them.. good job man..

wow.. world cup fever now... lol. me support argentina.. hmm. anw, this june im crazy soon. wa.. my sch work cant finish. dont feel like doing. yes, something is bothering me. and seriously its affecting my mood, my studies and my sleep. whoa.. my head hurts man.. now abit sick le.. soon fever liao. wtf. stupid fucking o lvl chi. WHAT THE HELL???!!! walao. hav to like memorise the whole stack of chinese oral thingy larr.. what the.... nvm.. and really, i hate it.. im only sec 3 like...HELLO?? haix.. sian.. somemore my chi like...shit?...yeah. i cant speak proper chinese larr. let alone oral.. and i speak eng in chi oral den get lowest in class de lorr. haix.. oh god.. why i hav to speak chinese? plus its like ppl cant believe im from maha bodhi larr. cos the chi standard there good ma.. then look at me.. sigh.. dont be suprised.. cos i got a* for my PSLE chi. yeah. now? i like getting B4 and C5,6 whoa.. i cant believe it larr. sorry mbs.. i failed you, my dear school.. im so sorry tt i let you down.. sobx :(*

The thing that makes you happy,even though you might not realise it is LOVE and caring. You like to spend quiet time at home with you family or hang with your friends. You're a very emotonal person and you cant possibly survive without love in your life.You're really funloving and can make most people laugh (i kinda envy you for that),you also probably have tons and tons of friends not to mention all the people who envy you secretly and will try to invade your private life, if you let them too close - and all that just because you're such a nice person.Watch out though - a person such as you is very vulnerable when it comes to trusting. Don't over do it...as optimistic a you are, in reality there are many treators. In love you can only find happyness with someone opposite to you (like..character i mean). He/she'll complete you in a unimaginable way and make you feel truly special and unique. If you find that person, the two of you'll be like Cindarella and her prince charming.

haha. okok. today took a few quizes. yup. put two on my blog only. lol. check this out::


------------SEPTEMBER BABY ------- Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

tends to regret... i agree totally.. umm umm

Your not depressed... but your on the road to depression.. beofr you get to the point where your depressed try to make your self happy!

uh huh. my phone got confiscated le. yeah. and i cried last night.. boo hoo.. *sniff* im so sorry. yeah. hmm.
what should i write ne? i will miss my hp!! boohoo. sobx.. nvm. hav computer not bad le. yeah. read a book. very touching. haha. is Out Of The Picture. very nice story. simple yet written till it moved my heart. yeah. "i can never be a father, but i can only paint what i love." hmm.. those who read this bk will understand. haha. now i reading on damn thick bk. dark house. wa. first chapt prolouge only then mother and daughter died in explosion. omg. hmm. i bought the book from marine parade popular tt day. haha. about murder. yup.
*me thinking of you all the while.*

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

umm.. my mid year.. AHH!!!!
wtf.. i passed all subjects except PHYSICS, GEOGRAPHY(SUCKER) AND COMBINED HUMANITIES... i cant believe it la. these marks are already add the common test and class test liao le lorr.. shit. this time parent-teacher meeting sure hav me inside de liao lorr. lol. but one thing im happy is tt I PASSED ENGLISH!!! OMG. my class more than half class fail. then they hav go see HOD. haha. me pass.. 50.1. haha. hee. :D
muackx.. haix.. my sms bill 1400msg sent. walao. whole of june no handphone. wad the crap.. nvm.. have computer.. hahahahaha.. i love my com.. DOTA is fun!! i love TINY!! altho he's a liar. haha. but very good when cums to attaacking. muahahaha. hum hum worse than me.. at least my msg is 5.63? yeah. haha. she 6.25 or something.. haha. im so evil. nvm. sorry

The tip of the icy blade touches my fragile skin,
I grasp it tightly and drag it across my wrists.
Pain starts shooting up my arm.
Droplets of crimson blood start seeping out.
More and more,it doesn't stop.
An unexplainable bliss fills me.
Watching the blood seep out.
I feel calm , soothed and content.
I'm relesing all my pain,my hate from each drop.
The wound closes up, the blood stops seeping out.
My blissful heaven is gone.
My wonderful high is gone.
The harsh reality comes back to me.
All that is left of my heaven are scars.
With each tell a story,
A story that only I know.

Your weakness is love: You are most happy when you are surrounded by love, either from family,friends or a crush/lover.You feel wonderful when you are loved, but you fear rejection and that fear is the one that hurts you most. You may be in love with more than one guy/girl at once, so take care that if you are going out with one, try and forget about all our other crushes and focus on that one person.You even know if they are the one.

may's coming soon.. things are bound to be different.. what goes up must comes down.. yeah..i dunno.. these few days like so depressed and stuff.. wanna talk to my friends but they like so busy.. i think i giving up on my studies la. i don even want listen to cher talking and i jus cant stay calm for a moment.. all i ever wanted to do was just to cry.. i keep failing my subjects esp both humanities.. haix.. sian.. feel like being alone and stuff.. am i confining myself in a dark corner?? all i see in life is only the dark side.. mayb im born to be a pessimistic girl.. yeah.. please tell me what to do, vann...
[[ all of our memories start to fade away, all this time u were pretending, so much for my happy ending... ]]

wooo.. mid year is just this friday start.. lol. tmr hav urmm..amths test!! yeah.. haha. im getting loads of pratice for it ltr.. i wan score A for it. today ehistory test.. lol. i score full marks liao.. lol. 30\30 sia.. me and my friend study damn hard. then today de weimar govt test i ans one ans we write down then she say one ans we write. lol. my opp row friend dunno then i passed my test paper across two rows summore. lol. if me and my partner dunno den i reach over de other side and we even take out the notes and discuss lorr.. in the middle of the walkway. lol. cher damn cock eye lorr.. lol. but i sure PIA for my midyr..

ytd SS then i talk to cher

huiyi: walao miss gan.. i hate SS.. it pull my whole CT down lorr.. i got 64 for my ehist then stupid SS pull my whole combined humanities dwn sia..
walao damnit la..

miss gan: oh.. wow.. ur hist score so high? then u let me see your SS paper then i see what went wrong. yeah?

huiyi: FINE!!! I HATE SS AND ESPECIALLY GEOGRAPHY!!!

today the sec 4 are stepping down from their posts... haix... calister.. me love u and miss you.. today is their last performance with us. then our batch will take over.. suddenly feel so lost... its like no seniors to lead me or something. and i cant joke with dem anymore.. they hav olvl.. don see them often.. yeah.. sigh.. i really missed the time we spent together.. every dance lesson we had.. and calister my best senior ever!! not forgetting grace too. yeah. me love them the most.. and i will go look for her every wk. lol.

urm.urm. yeah.. what? er. tomorrow having performance for innosphere opening.. me thinking of what just happened.. yeah.. RL called.. yup. for two times.i dont know why suddenly hav the urge to say something.. i jus felt that i wanted his attention so much. yeah.
But when I need you, You're almost here. Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you. And when I hold you your almost here. Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted, And now I'm with you I'm close to tears'cause I know I'm almost here...Only almost here
Once bruised and battered by your words, Dazed and shattered now it hurts.. Haven't I always loved you?

my sports meet!!

today is sports meet!!! woohoo!! so cool. wa.. see lots of my pri sch friends.. esp in dunman high.. yeah.. lol. today nv eat breakfast then go sch.. reach there hungry like siao.. cant eat summore.. is like 3plus.. wa.. i feel like fainting liao lorr.. hungry sia.. then only drink two cups milo.. wa lao.. my team is YELLOW!!! our team leader is dunman guy then hav temasek, ngee ann and cchms.. i was in 20*100. then was no.13!! i waited for the baton from another cchms guy then pia to the next guy, just nice running in frnt of my sch.. then can hear them shouting my name loudly sia!!! thanks for ur support man.. at first i number 3 one then i pass the baton to the ngee ann sec guy he ran half way them shoe fly off.. walao.. he go bac pick then became fourth liao lorr.. wa.. so sad... sniff!!!! so wasted!!! but nvm.. i nxt yr join 4*100 and 20*100.. it was cool. our team very supportive of each other.. though we didn get 1st, but it was worth it.. yeah.. we very united.. shouted our team v loud though frm diff schs.. yeah.. so heartwarming.. anywy, i jus wanna thank my friends who shouted for me and supported me.. very touched by it.. yeah..

OMG.......... look at my damned results!!!
chi: 55.5 C5
emaths: 57.5 C5
amaths: 52.5 C6
chemistry: 46.9 E8
physics: 57.5 C5
ehist: 64 B4 } elective: 43.8 E8
social studies: 23 F9 }
geography: 53.75 C6
all upon 100
:*( sobx.. my results... L1R5 : 35
HOW TO GO JC???? EVEN CANT GO POLYTECHNIC... GO ITE????
why am i so stupid?? haix.. very dissapointed with my results..
but i set a target for my mid yr liao..
CHI: A2
EMATHS: A1
AMATHS: A1
CHEMISTRY: A1
PHYSICS: B3
COMBINED HUMANITIES: B4 (hist:A2, ss: PASS)
GEOGRAPHY: B3
i know i can make it.. cause i really would put in effort now.. yeah. im gonna beat my friends le.. muahahaha

sigh.. me depressed thes few days... cant sleep.. keep crying for i dunno what the heck.. im frustrated... i hate my life... haix.. it is meaningless for me to live on... everything arnd me changed, i dont know who i am and neither do i know him anymore... yeah.. its different.. perhaps its the best if it ends? i really cant cope with this anymore.. i feel so used everyday, and when i think of that friday, i cant help but start crying.. why do i always hav to be the one sacrificing>? i dont wanna feel so affected anymore.. i've been used, betrayed.. im all alone by myself.. everyone's busy with their own exams.. i dont want study anymore.. best still, let me die.. i shoukd hav drank more medicine and died on that night.. noone knows the pain i suffered.. everyone thought i was fine... but deep inside, im not.. i cant trust anyone even him anymore.. mayb im over reacting but i cant get away the shadow of my past.. im trying but no one supports me, so why do it? forgt it, let it haunts me forever.. since im like that anyway. im tired, spiritually, emotionally and physically.. hiax.. thurs still hav to run sports day.. sucker.. nv mind.. *sniff*

answer the question how..

haix.. REALLY dunno what is wrong with blogger.. sigh.. me headache liao.. forget it. i give up trying to fix the broken link? yeah. anyway, the tag board is BELOW!!!!! think so?? school jus isnt fun.. since young, my geography has only been getting the highest is 60marks.. and the story or rather, reality, has been continuing since every exams and tests, until sec3, i've been so "pro" that i actually cant believe it that im in pure geography!!!!! (clap hands) yeah.. i really dunno how am i going to go into jc when all my subjects are failing and with my geography like this???? my olvl? forget it.. its useless anyway.. sigh.. give up le..

lol.. i passed my chi oral!!! but i lowest in class... walao.. damn pai seh... lol. i failed my chemistry, i passed my physics, emaths, amaths, chi.. lol. but just passed.. highest of all my marks is my physics!!! 60!!! lol. which means all my other subs are lousy.. haha.. sry.. but i don care le la.. yeah. im tired of studies. after this common tst then mid yr then ca again then olevel chi oral then eoy exams then olevel again.. sianztion.. sigh. i wonder how other sec3 cope sia.. crazy life... i don wan go through... :(

what the bloody shit? cant believe im in for sports meet... walao..
i really run like shit de.. summore in sprinting.. walao.. teacher- can i jus be a reserve??? pls???? lol. what the...sigh. cant believe it man.. fri oral test... ah!!!! i did so wonderfully well sia..
i actually SPOKE ENGLISH FOR THE FIRST TIME IN CHI ORAL!!!!
walao.. summore laugh luagh luagh.. sure confirm fail liao lorr...
nvrm still got nxt tym.. lol :) my comon tst also fail liao.. esp my physics.. nvrm.. i will "kan de kai".. lol

arrgh!!! im fed up with blogger... what the hell is the problem??? its fucking stupid.. keep having error.. forget it.. better find a new website to upload my blog.. spastic..
finally!! one wk of common tests over liao!! haha.. but sad to say,----i dunno how to do.. lol.. actually i not really in the mood to study. and i very tired also. haix.. so cant concentrate.. i think i will fail sum subjects..
btw, we changing eng teacher?????? damn it.. i don want!!!! i rather have miss chan back. *sobx* i really wanna cry.. me miss her de... sobx.. she's quite ok larr. though when serious wrk cums then is damn sian. yeah. haix. today though hav two hours of her lesson, but i think is fun.. yup.. she really know alot of stuff.. lol. start talking about boys or man(?) raping women.. and cause the population of sum developed countries is decreasing, thus the percentage of women tend to be less??? cos of the so-called "guys can continue the family line" thingy?? i mean it really sucks.. then is like not enuff women for men then kidnap married women or teenagers.. i mean are they so desperate???
and also when two countries in war, the enemy country soldiers go into every house and rape all the women inside, and summore force the guys in the house to see.. how could they?? they rob women's virginity.. guys totally suck.. that not the worse.. the worse is that these women are being banished outta their house.. its not their fault that they lose their virginity right?? its really bad...
thats why women have independece day!!! :)
protect women's right..>>>

oh damn it. i haven finish even one piece of holiday work sia. walao. die liao. miss chan work haven even touch yet. and i dun wan touch!!! i hate comprehensions. and compos. i only like speaking english i dun like written. shit. yeah. think de only way out is--copy. my specialize. haix. i for whole ct only read finish chem and physics. (easiest subx only)
btw. i so not free. im busy thinking about yes or no everyday when i wake up, even think until i cant eat or slp. eat two bites then go somewhere else in my house think yes or no. i realli siao liao. should i or not? think he called on fri and today? i nt sure is him but other than him then noone else liao. i luv him but scared i patch le then later half a yr later break again. i dunno. see first la. though its something i really wished for every minute of me living, but i must consider first. serious consideration. unlike SOME people, he is not a flirt. haha. and i dun like a flirt or being a flirt. yup. me want study then leting will be happy. yup. :) luv euu..

Blue: You are kind and polite and some times shy... Learn to speak how you're feeling. You tend to be very quiet but show a lot of happiness! Some time's you are extremely depressed and daze out, but you usually make it through for every one!
Common Saying: "Oh... I'm sorry..." (OR) "Excuse me..."
Favorite Pet: All.(It's some one who won't tell others your secrets!)

true?true? only de part im knid and polite not true.. lol