hey blogg.. i cant sleep.. yeah. jus wake up from a dream. why did u always appear in my dreams? and we were talking and laughing. ooh. thats a miracle. and its like sooo over. never mind. the simple words hit me damn hard they turn my whole world upside down. caught me offguard. when u said those words to me that very night. *yawn* i really tired and wanna sleep. but when my head touches my pillow, i think of soo many things. too much things on my mind. did some self reflection. i feel that even many of my friends changed too, i changed alot too. i dont know. i feel so weird about myself when pple tell me to "zi ai" (love myself??) i dont know. i think i became more dependant on pple even my classmates and i do feel bad about it. im sorry i cant stand up properly. the minute i stand, i fall back down again. im so sorry to hav to rely on u guys. and i really have to apologise to all my friends. yup. i owe them alot. cause of my fallback, i always get pissed off with them and really feel bad, or i will always stare out the window, thinking of either suicide or death. and it really scared the hell outta lots of pple but esp my best friend. she been with me since sec 1 and i know i changed alot. and im so sorry. but dont worry. i will always live for u leting. until someday u're not there for me, only then i will go.
hmm.. i dont know why but i feel strongly about astrology. i think its true. cause virgo are best with capricorn and pisces but worse with gemini. lol. i dont know. but i read this from a website. yup

When Gemini and Virgo come together in a love affair, it's crucial to the survival of the relationship that they take time to learn about one another's approach to life and love -- and remember that both partners' attitudes are worth understanding! Gemini is symbolized by the Twins; they can see both sides of a story, they tend to vacillate between two courses of action and sometimes they can seem as if they have a split personality! This relationship is greatly strengthened when steady Virgo provides one Twin with a steady emotional anchor while allowing the other Twin to flit about at will. Virgo may be a bit too serious and demanding for Gemini, especially if this occurs early in the relationship before Gemini has fully committed. If Virgo just gives it time, things will smooth out. Virgo's fussy, critical nature and Gemini's aloof detachment and capriciousness can cause trouble for both partners. Virgo must understand that Gemini's flirtatious nature does not affect their feelings regarding the relationship, and Gemini must help to foster that understanding through words and deeds. What's the best aspect of the Gemini-Virgo relationship? The security they can give each other -- once Virgo allows Gemini to commit willingly to the relationship. As long as they communicate with each other and use their Mercury powers effectively, theirs will be a gratifying relationship.

err.. so this looks kinda true? i think so.

When Virgo and Capricorn join together in a love match, theirs is a pragmatic, smart relationship. Both Signs are highly rational, and both expect a lot of themselves and others. Virgo adores Capricorn's dedication and intensity, while Capricorn admires Virgo's intuition and attention to detail. Together they form a solid union based firmly in reality. This relationship has a strong foundation that is based on material security and a realistic approach to life in general. These Signs don't let their emotions or impulses take over and you can count on both. Virgo can help Capricorn to relax a little and appreciate all they have worked to attain. Capricorn can help Virgo achieve goals and makes dreams a reality through initiation. They live a very comfortable life together. Additionally, they are a sensible pair, and they rarely have problems caused by one partner's conspicuous consumption. What's the best aspect of the Virgo-Capricorn relationship? It's their amazing dedication, and to similar goals. Both partners enjoy security and material objects, and work very well together to achieve their goals -- especially if the goal involves shared resources. Their mutual interests make theirs a highly pleasant relationship.

me and ex? yup. i do think of him sumtimes. but its ok i guess.